When I graduated High School I had so many ideas of where I thought my life would go, where I'd live, and who I'd become. I had moved to downtown Portland and interviewed with the Portland Art Institute wanting to become a fashion designer, one small problem though, I didn't even know how to sew. But I loved to draw and design, so I figured I could learn the sewing part.....I mean really, how hard could it be? (20 plus years later, I still don't know how to sew).
The fashion designer idea didn't last long when I realized how expense art school would be, so I moved back home and not long after I got married, had and son, and then got divorced. My life had changed tremendously in 3 short years. Being a single mom was one of the most challenging times in my life, but it was also the most rewarding. My son was the reason I decided to go to school and earn my Bachelor's Degree while working full time. My degree allowed me to work in various governement positions that I'm proud of and I can honestly say I've had a great life, and a successful career. But I've always had this nagging voice in my head telling me that there was more I wanted to do with my life.
Then a few months ago I discovered polymer clay, and started researching how to create earrings with it, and from there my passion for design was reignited. I had forgotten how fun it was to create something from ideas in my head. I started following other designers on facebook and instagram, and saw how they had successfully turned their passion into a business so I decided to take a leap of faith and started L Gann Designs with the hope that I could do the same.
Anyone who knows me, knows I hate putting myself out there, I'm not a social person. So putting my work out there for the world to see has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. After posting about my new business the doubt set in, the second guessing, the insecurity of my skill. What if I'm not good enough, or what if my designs are only beautiful in my eyes, what if no one else likes them? Imposter syndrome is real people, and I was experiencing it. I was ready to give up and throw in the towel.
I woke up yesterday morning full of self doubt and wanting to quit, until I opened my instagram and was greeted by a DM from @clayrepository stating that @seizetheclay_bycourt had mentioned my name in an interview. My first thought was, oh great Clay Repository has been hacked and this is some scammer trying to hack my account. On the off chance that it wasn't a scam, I looked up the Clay Repository website and sure enough there was the interview with Courtney Hayward artist and owner of Seize the Clay in New Zealand. Then I saw it, my name and my business listed in the article under the question "Who are your favorite accounts that others should follow?". Someone actually listed my work from my instagram as one of their favorite accounts? Is this real or am I still asleep and dreaming? This article litterally made my day, and turned my thoughts of doubt into thoughts of accomplishment. I'm sure those doubts will reemerge occassionally, but for now..... I'm proud of my work and I'm ready to shout from the rooftops, "I WON'T LET MY FEARS STOP ME, check out my designs at www.lganndesignsllc.com !! ?
